Rooted in REAL: Culturally Responsive Practice – Thursday Edition

Is it me, or is discipline starting to feel optional?

The REAL Story

Listen and listen carefully, I have never been a parent whisperer. Not even close. I spent years dreading those calls, those emails, those conferences where I could feel myself preparing for war before I even said hello simply because I had high standards and holding students accountable was always a hill I was willing to die on. I could run you some very entertaining parent stories but I will save that for another time.

April has always been the month that tested me the most, because the students who had been holding it together all year were done holding it, and the ones who had never held it at all were on a completely different level of crazy by spring. And getting administrative and parent support during this time of the year seems like a long shot at best and a miracle on most days.

Spring behavior is just a different kind of hard. It is not September hard, where everything is new and chaotic. Spring behavior is exhausting specifically because you already know your students. You have put in months of work, built real relationships, tried every strategy in your toolkit, and some of them are still standing in your doorway in April acting like you have never met and you don’t have any classroom rules. Which often leads to multiple moments of ‘crash outs’ that you eventually feel guilty for, which somehow makes the situation feel even worse.

And to top it off, you are also managing testing pressure, a pacing guide that did not survive contact with reality, and a building that is collectively running on fumes.

When referrals started feeling like they carried no real weight and I was really trying to stay out of the unemployment line, I reopened the communication with parents. But this time from a different perspective.

I stopped leading with the behavior when I called home. I started leading with what the behavior was costing the child academically, and that changed everything about how those conversations went.

💡3 Moves that will actually get some parents in your corner this time of year

1️⃣ Lead with academic concern, not behavior frustration.​
​The moment you call home and open with "your child has been disrupting my class," you have handed that parent a reason to be defensive before the conversation even starts. Don’t Do That! Instead, frame it around what the behavior is costing their child academically, and your concern with the missed learning that is taking place because of the behavior. This changes the entire dynamic.

You are no longer the teacher complaining about their child. You are the teacher who is genuinely worried about whether their child is going to be equipped with the right skills or be ready for next year. The discipline is solely the symptom. The academic gap is the cost. Lead with the cost.

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​"Hi Ms. Smith, I'm calling because I care about how Tiffany finishes this year and I want to be honest with you. When we have days where things get off track, it directly affects how much she’s retaining. Looking over her data, I see she is well below grade level and it really concerns me. With the end of the year coming up, I'm concerned about whether she's going to have what she needs to go into next year feeling prepared and confident. I'd love to figure out together how we can help her finish this year strong."

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2️⃣ Make the academic stakes concrete and specific.​
​Parents respond to specificity. "She’s been disruptive" gives them nothing to work with. But when you tell them that every time you put up the warm up, she gets out of her seat and talks to her peers, interrupting the class. And when warm up is derailed it costs instructional time. I.e. “this past week, she missed how I graphed an equation which is what she will need for end of the year testing and for Algebra 1 next year at the high school”

When they recognize how much content their child is missing, they understand what the behavior is actually doing to their child’s future. Tell them what being prepared and independent will look like for the next grade level and where their child currently stands. The conversation stops being about you managing a classroom and starts being about their child's trajectory.

3️⃣ Give parents something specific to do.​
​One of the reasons these conversations go sideways is because parents feel like they are being called to witness a problem with no role to play in solving it. Try and end every one of these conversations with a concrete task or ask. Not "please talk to him about his behavior," because it’s vague, and most of the time they are tired of talking to their child about their behavior, they just don’t tell you that.

Instead ask the parent to check in with their child tonight about what they actually learned in math today. You could ask the parent to have their child name two things that help them understand the math better, or ask them to identify one thing that is getting in the way of them staying focused in class. The goal is not just for the parent to correct the behavior, but for the student to start taking some ownership of what is happening in the classroom. You can also ask the parent to talk with their child about what they can do differently to help themselves stay engaged and finish the year strong.

Then invite the parent to email you back with anything their child shares or any insight they may have after that conversation. That small step lets parents see that you are not just reporting a problem. You are trying to understand what is going on and work together to support the student in making better choices moving forward.

All of this matters because it shows that you have taken every step possible to create the conditions for that student to succeed. You communicated, involved the parent, offered support, and gave the student a chance to reflect on what is helping or getting in the way of their learning. At that point, if the student still chooses not to engage, the record is clear that the environment for success was there.

When parents have a role, they are more likely to stay in your corner. And when their child finds out you called with concern instead of a complaint, th

The Close

April behavior is going to keep coming whether you call home or not. But calling home with a different frame, one that centers the child's readiness and not just your exhaustion with their choices, does two things at once. It gets you support from someone who can actually reinforce what you are doing. And it reminds you that underneath everything, that is still what this is about: making sure that student leaves your room better prepared to succeed.

New and Early Career Math Teachers in Urban Classrooms

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reminded how rarely teachers are given space to slow their thinking down and talk through the work without being handed another strategy. Because of that, I opened a free, private LinkedIn group for new and early-career teachers navigating urban classrooms.

This is not coaching or PD. It’s a reflection space — a place to talk through what you’re implementing, hear how other teachers are thinking, and not feel alone in the work.

You can request access here:
​https://www.linkedin.com/groups/16349025/​
​(Manual approval is on to protect the space.)

Tiffany Smith, Ed. D., Culturally Responsive Math Specialist

Founder, Education Evolution, LLC | Creator, The REAL Framework™ | Creator of Mind the Gap Curriculum™

Know someone who’d find this helpful? Forward this email to a colleague or friend who’s passionate about creating real change in the math classroom.

Or tell them to sign up with this link: https://education-evolution.kit.com/a3118d8126